


Flowers

by theslymaknae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU, TW: Self Harm, tw: character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 14:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14263053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theslymaknae/pseuds/theslymaknae
Summary: “Every pain on your soulmate’s experiencing will be translated as flowers on your body. Physical pain looks like tattoos; psychological pain feels like fluttering petals on your insides.”Jeno kept seeing flowers on his skin and he vowed to save his soulmate.





	1. )1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yes I hate myself too sometimes.

_“Every pain your soulmate’s experiencing will be translated as flowers on your body. Physical pain looks like tattoos; psychological pain feels like fluttering petals on your insides.”_

 

Jeno doesn’t know who his soulmate is but he desperately wants to know. Because he woke up everyday to new flowers.

The worst part about the flowers is the way they’re only blossoming on places hidden from plain sight. Yesterday he woke up to rows of baby breaths on his thighs, last winter his wrists were decorated in bluebells, the most concerning one is the big peony above his heart sometimes ago.

He hates seeing the flowers, and he hates the thought about what causes them to bloom even more. Those flowers may not hurt him, he might not feel what’s behind them, but god knows how much it must’ve hurt for sunflowers to bloom on your soulmate’s tummy.

Whatever his soulmate is doing, it needs to stop. Jeno wants him to stop, wants whatever’s hurting him to stop. Sadly, there’s no way of really finding out who his soulmate is.

It’s not like he could ask some strangers to strip.

Thus, imagine Jeno’s shock when he sees a lily peeking through Na Jaemin’s flu mask, exactly on the day Jeno fell and face planted himself to a concrete sidewalk.

 

**

 

Na Jaemin, he goes by Jaemin on daily basis and Nana if you’re lucky enough to be considered his best friend, is the embodiment of happiness. He is the beloved student body president, voted as someone with the brightest smile in the entire school (and more, definitely more), straight A student, and the ace of the badminton team.

Jaemin is the last person Jeno would suspect as his soulmate. There’s just no way.

So there he is, intently watching Jaemin as he laughs with his friends in the cafeteria. Jeno has a small needle ready in his hand and starts to scratch the back of his hand. He feels like he’s supposed to be surprised when a stalk of lavender blossomed slowly in Jaemin’s hand.

But he’s not. He’s also not surprised when Jaemin turns to look at him with a knowing eye. Jeno nods at him, approaching his table with a big smile.

_“Hi, can I talk to you?”_

 

**

 

“Lee Jeno, the school’s heartthrob, the basketball captain. How do I land myself this honor?” Jaemin grins, (or so Jeno thought, the flu mask is really concealing. But  the corners of Jaemin’s eyes crinkle beautifully.)

Jeno used to think that the sight of a smiling Jaemin is the prettiest thing on earth, until he realizes how empty those eyes actually are.

“My, you’re _the_ Na Jaemin, the honor’s all mine.” Jeno returned the gesture.

 

“Let’s stop acting dumb, though. I know you know we’re soulmates.”

 

Jaemin shook his head calmly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about though? I am just – _cough-_ having a flu.”

What a weak façade.

“I’m not talking about your mask, though? Take a look at your hand.”

“Oof, you got me.” Another half assed laugh, “Thank you for the flower though. Can we please go back to barely knowing each other again?”

 

How he managed to say such painful words so softly, so calmly, is beyond Jeno’s mind. Jaemin, apparently, doesn’t plan to stay long after his words. Jeno manages to catch on his wrist on time before Jaemin exits the rooftop.

“Jaemin, I know about your− _my flowers._ ”

“I’m aware.” The student body president drops the honey from his voice, coldly swatting Jeno’s hand away.

 

**

 

Jaemin never left his thought ever since. All Jeno can think about during his sleepless nights were the fading flowers and how the new ones are replacing them so quickly. He couldn’t help but think what Jaemin might be doing this late at night to conjure tulips on Jeno’s shoulder blade.

He has a match tomorrow and he would have to wear a t shirt underneath his basketball jersey, or else Mark will fuss about Jeno’s concerning soulmate. It’s a good thing none of his friends knew who that concerning soulmate actually is.

By 2 a.m, along with another tulip, Jeno vowed that he will stop Jaemin from creating flowers. It’s going to be his new life mission and he swears on the night sky that he will succeed. Eventhough Jaemin himself may not want to be saved.

 

**

 

“Good game, fever! Let’s do this well in the upcoming semifinal!” Jeno shouts at the rest of his team members after winning a game versus another school. He senses two of his teammates coming his way, probably wanting to talk about their next strategy when a certain someone comes to Jeno’s peripheral vision.

“Jisung, talk to them for me, I need to go somewhere.” He says, dragging Jisung’s jersey to delegates him in talking. Jisung is his co-captain after all.

 

“Jaemin!” He calls out.

“Jeno, hi. What happens with pretending not to know each other?” Jaemin stops in his track, giving Jeno a sweet smile despite clearly not wanting to continue the conversation. He no longer had his mask on and the small lily Jeno left him a few days ago had faded completely.

“I just won us a game.”

“Great, our school thanks you.”

“Reward me, _prez._ ”

Jaemin rolls his eyes, _what happens with feigning fondness?_

“What do you want?”

“Let’s make a bucketlist and finish them before this term ends.”

“There are only two months left.”

“Then we better be quick.”

 

**

 

He smiles as he folds the small paper and shoves it into his bag. He can’t believe he just persuaded Jaemin to create a bucket list together. Jeno knows it may be a futile attempt in trying to save Jaemin from whatever he is going through, but he seriously hopes that it will be a fun distraction, something to ease Jaemin's mind from his problems.

Jeno also hopes that by the end of their list, he would stop any flowers from blossoming to his body. He declares this to Jaemin earlier, that it was his main goal, but the latter just gave him a dry laugh, all the while telling Jeno that it would be hard to accomplish.

No. It won’t be.

Jaemin has no idea how Jeno could be when he’s determined, and right now, he’s _very_ determined.

 

“What do we have here?” Renjun grinned, snatching the paper from Jeno’s bag. “Let’s see what made Jeno grinned like an idiot the whole day.”

“Renjun give it back you prick.”

“Bucketlist? _Nomin’s flower bucketlist:_

  1. _Skip school and go to everland—_ man what a rebellious thing.
  2. _Sleep underneath the skies—_ other words: mosquito bites or freezing limbs.
  3. _Go to a concert—_ not bad. 
  4. _Ride a ferris wheel in the morning and watch the sunrise from the top—_ Hey this one’s good.



Man there aren’t a lot on this thing. Don’t you know that the rule is to have at least twenty items on this.”

Jeno groaned, “You’re done? Give me my list back.”

“Who did you even make that with?”

“Secret.” Jeno smiles, earning a headlock from his best friend demanding him to tell. (Seriously Renjun, stop manhandling people.)

 

**

 

#2 Sleep underneath the skies is surprisingly the easiest to do, they only have convinced Jeno’s parents to let them sleep outside on the backyard. Jeno has suggested on sneaking into a rooftop but Jaemin stopped him, saying that they can see the stars just as clearly from the backyard.

And there they are, shoulders to shoulders as they stare at the twinkling night sky.

It’s very awkward, not gonna lie. Even the fact that they are soulmates doesn’t really ease the tension in the air. It is only their second time actually talking to each other.

“So what now?” Jeno starts, turning his head slightly to see Jaemin. The other is staring at the sky with unreadable expression.

“I don’t know.”

“This is your bucketlist, you want this, remember?”

“Perhaps.” Jaemin forced a smile. It’s just as beautiful, maybe more from such close proximity, but still it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Is this good?”

Jaemin stayed silent, turning his eyes back to the starry sky. Jeno sighes.

_At least there won’t be new flowers tomorrow, now that he had his eyes on Jaemin the whole night._

 

_**_

 

They crossed #1 next, skipping school with Renjun. It was just as awkward as the first one but at least Renjun were there, he was known to have this relaxing vibe around him and Jeno could sense that Jaemin finally relaxed and let go of his guard slightly. _Mental note to thank Renjun with a lunch coupon._

Jaemin thanked him personally that night, calling him just as he was heading to bed.

‘Thank you, I had fun’ he said, ‘Thank you for doing this to me.’ He added before Jeno could say anything else. And then Jaemin hung up.

Jeno found no new flowers the morning after. There has been fewer flowers lately and the fading ones are fading even faster.

 

**

 

#3 Going on a concert was quite hard, since their favorite artists are not on tour. So they set up an impromptu mini concert, using the school hall and gathering their school bands to perform. It was more concert planning than concert attending but if Jeno learnt anything new, it was that Jaemin loves planning an event.

So it’s another win.

There are new flowers blooming in the side of Jeno’s forearm, he was concerned at first but Jaemin rolled his eyes at him, showing his bandaged injury.

“I fell and scratched myself when picking up supplies.” He explained. Jeno’s smile grew wider.

 

**

 

It takes a special planning to rent a ferris wheel in the morning. Lots of money and actually owing Donghyuck a favor or two, but Jeno definitely doesn’t regret it as he saw the look in Jaemin’s eyes. The smile that finally reached his gleaming orbs as he saw the sun rising from the horizon.

“It’s beautiful.” He said. Jeno agreed, but Jaemin didn’t need to know that it wasn’t the sun that he was talking about.

For the first time in months, Jaemin’s thanks came out hitched. Eyes bleary as he smiled at Jeno. Smiling a smile so beautiful Jeno's heart leaped out of his ribcage. 

They went home after spending hours staring at the sun.

 

No new flowers in weeks, the old ones almost faded completely.

It was the day Jeno longed for ever since he discovered the first flower on his wrist, months before Na Jaemin even entered his life.

Tomorrow, Jeno will finally tell Jaemin how he feels.

 

**

 

“You look exceptionally happy today,” Renjun nudged at him during biology. “I mean, you were always all smiley and annoying but today—even more.” He added.

_I’m finally flower-free today, and I’m asking Jaemin out._

“Dude, you can’t just smile at me after I said all that. Say something.” Renjun rolled his eyes

“I don’t need to say anything. I am just so happy.”

“Loser.” Renjun grinned.

 

Jeno barely pays attention to their biology lesson, too busy imagining the 101 ways he would ask Jaemin out. After lunch, during lunch, in the cafeteria, in the rooftop where they first talked. So many possibilities, so many happy endings.

 

Then flower blossomed from every inch of jeno's body. Peony, roses, tulips, pansies. Flowers blossomed from the crook of his neck to the tip his nose, from places Jaemin cautiously would never let them bloom from. The flowers, they all blossomed without a care this time. Along with a scream from the hallway.

_"Someone jumped off the roof!"_

The flowers blossomed with a painful realization that Na Jaemin was no longer there to care.


	2. Epilogue

Jeno couldn’t believe his eyes. He couldn’t believe the amount of flowers etched on his skins, on his face to his fingers where he hold the letter Jaemin left him.

He couldn’t believe Jaemin left a letter for him, put nicely on the rooftop where they first talked, weighed down with a snowglobe Jeno bought for him the day they crossed #1 off of their bucketlist.

He couldn’t believe the commotion and the ambulance siren from down below.

 

 _“Dear Jeno.”_ The letter starts.

 

_Thank you for all you’ve done to me._

_Thank you for even trying._

_I’m numb. I can no longer feel and despite how liberating that may sound like, it’s actually suffocating. All the feelings I’m supposed to feel, supposed to let out, they all lodged in my chest and it’s heavy._

_It’s heavy and it only gets heavier by day._

_I cut and bleed to feel something. I still don’t._

_I cut deeper and the blood gets redder but still—none._

_I’m sorry for making you think that I wanted to do any of those things I put on our bucket list. I’m sorry, Jeno, I don’t._

_I seriously don’t give a fuck about riding a ferris wheel first thing in the morning, or to sleep underneath a thousand stars._

_But you looked so happy doing that for me, so I let you._

_I’m sorry_

_You tried so hard and I can’t thank you enough_

_You look so happy with seeing fewer flowers each day, so I want to apologize for I’m about to give you a bouquet today._

_Na Jaemin._


End file.
